My beloved 

I see the way you look at her when you’re with me.
And it hurts,
It hurts to know that you and me
We were just never meant to be

And I look at you
With the same look that you gave her
Like the world begins and ends at her feet,
And I wonder why?
Why are you still here with me?

And I feel the way your heart pounds whenever she enters the room
And I see the way your eyes would unconsciously search for hers
Through the throng of people,
Eventhough I’m standing right here beside you

But I’m sorry my love
For as much as I wish she was me
I will never be
And for that reason only
I’ll be setting you free

~Farzanna Pasha

Please make sure you order my book “Never Forget You” on Amazon published July 4th, 2017

Never Forget You – My Debut book

Never Forget You

Never Forget You by Farzanna Pasha

This is one of my most dreamt of accomplishment to ever come true. From a very tender age, I would sit by my mother’s typewriter and make up stories that didn’t make sense at that time and I swore, when I get older I would write my own book. And here it is!

Words cannot describe how excited I am to introduce my first book ever to be written and published. Exactly one month from today it will be release and I am bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm.

I will be giving away arc in about a week from now and that has me anxious. I’m not sure I’m ready to obe criticized by my work since I how how much effort I put into it but isn’t that how authors learn? 

The book is also available on Amazon for pre-ording for $2.99 if you are interested!

Below is the blurb ! Please let me know in the comment based off on it’s description if you think I’ll be a good read.

Jane

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to wake up without any memory of who you are or even what you look like? Well I did, and it was not pretty. What’s even worse, I woke up in a hospital in Italy with no one around who knew me. Luckily for me, I had help from a kind stranger named Sam Maddox. He gave me purpose and was the guiding light in my dark days.

Tragedy struck and I was left alone once again. Haunted by a man in my dreams who made my heart ache for him and palpitated in my chest, I headed to the Golden State of California for answers. In the very first week, without any effort, I found my answers and who I truly was.

Nathan

Have you ever loved someone with a love that would prevail anything; and you thought to yourself that nothing can tear you apart and then one day something does? Well I did, you see my wife Katherine, she was my world. We were happy and we were crazy for each other. She called me from work and told me she had good news and that I should wait for her at home. I waited and waited but she never did make it home. No one knew what truly happened, Katherine had just vanished.

Imagine my surprise, three years later, when I saw her across my sister’s dinner table calling herself Jane. What was more heartbreaking was that she didn’t even know who I was.

I have to make my wife fall in love with me again and to make my job harder, someone is after her. Someone is stalking her and threatening her life and all that we know is, it has something to do with why she disappeared and how she lost her memories.

Will finding out the truth pull us together or tear us apart?

Me vs. Life

Many times I would sit and wonder if life truly hates me. I have this theory that life has some sort of supernatural power to sink me so deep into the ground where there is no light for me to find my way out and no air to keep from dying of suffocation.
Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t hate life and I don’t have it in my mind to commit suicide. I love living! I love being able to wake in the morning to another new day of adventure and being able to do all you can do because life is what you make of it. You have to be willing to put 100% effort into making it however you imagine your life to be and damn all those pulling you down.
Though sometimes you have to grab onto life with both hands and wrestle with it; strangle it with all the strength you can muster and risk going down a sore loser because some endings can result with something so beautiful that you can be blinded by it. That the mere thought of it would make you shed tears of joy or gaze at it in wonder of such adoration.
Recently however, my life is playing a game of whack-a-mole, with me being the mole. Every time I find myself coming up from that atramentous ground for a breath, I would get whacked back into it with that damn mallet and each time it would take longer for me to find my way back up again. Therefore, expanding time of being suffocated.  
But every time I get whacked, it would make me stronger. It builds my resistance and harden me to the harshness of life and it would make me want to prove that I can surpass and overcome this. No matter how many scars I may obtain or how bent out of shape I may be, I will arise standing tall and a better person than I started out to be.
So life, bring it on! I’m here with my boxing gloves on waiting for you to take the first swing, waiting to show you that no matter how hard you whack at me I will come out that hole every time like a freshly water seed breaking through its coat to turn into a beautiful daylily.

Stranger I Feel You

Tonight I was sick. Not the cold or flu kind of sick, but the kind of sick where I needed my dose of you. So I did what any naive girl would do; eventhough I know it was probably not a good idea. Eventhough I know when I read the words you would bleed across the keyboard as you type to expose the deepest parts of you, would hurt me the most. I still needed my dose of you. So I sat by my computer and drank every cork filled of bittersweet medicine hoping that one of them would cure my sickness. A sickness I call you.

I don’t know you and you don’t know me but when you talked about her I could do nothing more but feel. I wanted to yell so loud that you can hear me across the ocean that separates us “stranger I feel you!”

But then I thought “what good would that do?” You had obviously placed her so high on a pedestal that you can’t help but walk around with your head looking into the sky and not notice those around you.

But stranger I want you to know that there’s nothing you can do that would stop me from feeling for you.

Dad!

It’s been a very long time since I wrote on my blog and recently all my blog posting seems to begin with this excuse. But I can’t seem to find a balance between my everyday life and blogging, so I decided to blog whenever I do have the time.

Today’s blog I decided to write about my dad. Now I love my dad, I really do but some people may think I wouldn’t because of his strict ways and all these rules he has when growing up. Regardless of that thought, he is the reason I am the person I am today and I wouldn’t change anything about my childhood. He may have made bad decisions in life but we are all human and we have to make mistakes to be a better person and learn from the wrongs we do in life. 

Now my dad is older than you would consider a dad to be with a child my age and he seems to become very grumpy and nosy as he ages. I don’t know how anyone else’s dad behaves but eveytime I sit by the computer to either edit the book I am writing or post a blog he would come and stand next to me and ask “what are you doing there?” 

For me to blog or  work on the book I’m writing, I have to be in a room by myself and I am not comfortable with people looking over my shoulder. So him doing that throws me off my game and kills the mood to blog. He is one of the many reasons why I am not on my blogging game but then again, maybe if I told him what I am actually doing maybe he would back off. Neither of my parents knows about my blogs nor the fact that I am writing a book yet so that can be a contributing factor.

 Does anyone father do this? 

Long overdue Thanksgiving Post

I know that most of my post is me saying how I have little time for my blog and me keep promising that I would try harder to make it my mission to get on top with my blogs, but I would find myself not having time! Gosh, I never realize how busy I am till I started this blog and that’s saying something because I have no job so….

Most of my time is actually taken up with my debut book, Never Forget You which I’m trying to finish before my parents get here for Christmas. I have about two-three chapters more for the book to be completed and I’m hoping to have it up on Amazon by Christmas to be pre-ordered. Yay!!! So please, please make sure to check it out when it’s published.

Okay so, Happy Late Thanksgiving!!!!

Thanksgiving
For some reason, I don’t know why, but I enjoyed this year’s thanksgiving more than the others that I had celebrated since moving to the U.S. five years ago. It was more jolly and everyone sat down, relaxed and had a great time. There was no witty comments against other family members and everyone chatted happily.

We had lots to eat and drink that I think I put on about 5 pounds that night alone but then that’s the point of Thanksgiving, right? Put on so much weight that you have to put off by Christmas or else your stuck with adding more weight by the time New year swing by. Probably that’s why almost everyone’s new year resolution is to lose weight? Hmm.. Never thought about it that way.

Anyways I just wanted to say Happy Late Thanksgiving and I hope yours was as enjoyable and delicious as mine. Comment down below and tell me what you did and if you had any family drama.

The Ant and the Grasshopper

I remembered when I was small my father would tell me this story about an ant and a grasshopper. At the time it was just another story he would tell us but growing up I came to realized that it had a deep meaning behind it. Sometime back I came across it and decided to share it with you. Tell me what you think the moral behind the story is.

The grasshopper and the ant

It all starts out when the grasshopper is dancing, playing his violin, and eating. After he sat on a mushroom, he got some water and started to eat a leaf. Then he noticed some ants working very hard to get ready for the cold winter. All he just did was laugh at those poor ants. 

Then he went to an ant who had his fruit cart stuck, and told him “the Good Book says ‘The Lord provides,’ there’s food on every tree. I see no reason to worry and work. No sir, not me! Oh, The World Owes Us a Livin’. Oh, The World Owes Us a Livin’. You shouldn’t soil your Sunday pants, like those other foolish ants. Come on, let’s play and sing and dance!”. 

And they did, but while they were doing that, the Queen ant came and saw one of her subjects playing instead of working. Once the ant noticed the queen, he started to go back to work. Then the Queen ant got mad at the grasshopper and warned him “You’ll change that tune when winter comes and the ground is covered with snow.” The grasshopper ignored the queen’s warning, saying “Oh, wintertime’s a long way off. You dance? Let’s go.”

Then when winter came, the grasshopper was looking for food. He found a leaf, but it blew away. He struggled and struggled, getting weaker from cold and hunger, until he looked into where the ants lived and noticed that they were having a wonderful feast and celebrating. He wanted to come in, so he knocked but he was frozen. When the ants heard the knock, they got the grasshopper and let him in. 

He was warmed up and saw the queen. She knew he was going to act like that, and the grasshopper tried to reason with her, “Oh madam queen, wisest of ants. Don’t throw me out. Please, give me a chance”. She just told him “With ants, just those who work may stay, so take your fiddle…”. When he was about to leave, the queen told him to play his violin and stay. 

He played the violin with a different song to sing as they all lived happily ever after in the ants’ home, “I owe the world a living! I owe the world a living! I’ve been a fool the whole year long and now I’m singing a different song! You were right and I was wrong!”…..