Cursed Eclipse

You and I are forever cursed
Like the moon and sun in the sky
We shall never trully meet
I would forever bask in your heat
Looking at you over my shoulders
Drinking you in
Illuminating my darkness with your reflecting light
And should I ever find you
Only misery would follow
For I shall darken your bright world
Even for a few minutes
And yet!
Just when I think I’m close enough to grasp you
The tide shall pull us apart.

~Farzanna Pasha

Please make sure you order my book “Never Forget You” on Amazon published July 4th, 2017

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My beloved 

I see the way you look at her when you’re with me.
And it hurts,
It hurts to know that you and me
We were just never meant to be

And I look at you
With the same look that you gave her
Like the world begins and ends at her feet,
And I wonder why?
Why are you still here with me?

And I feel the way your heart pounds whenever she enters the room
And I see the way your eyes would unconsciously search for hers
Through the throng of people,
Eventhough I’m standing right here beside you

But I’m sorry my love
For as much as I wish she was me
I will never be
And for that reason only
I’ll be setting you free

~Farzanna Pasha

Please make sure you order my book “Never Forget You” on Amazon published July 4th, 2017

Never Forget You

In exactly one week from now my debut book will be releasing and I decided to put a sneak peak below. Please make sure you pre-order my book “Never Forget You” on Amazon coming out on 4th July!

A hand trailing up and down my back woke me up. Burying my face into the warmth of my pillow, I let out a moan of refusal to open my eyes.

“It’s getting late Kate and we have brunch at my parent’s house in an hour,” Nathan’s raspy voice said as he placed small kisses along my naked shoulders. “If you don’t get up in the next five minutes we are going to be late for an entirely different reason than waking up late and it will be all your fault,” he said as he pulled me into his already hardened length. 

My eyes flew open as his arms snaked under my hips. I rolled over and pushed his hands away. We were late for the last few brunches at his parents’ house and I could not remove the blush that crept up on my face when we rang the door bell late each time.“Not going to happen again, Nathan,” I said. He looked at me with a smirk across his face and I didn’t like that look. That look always got us late. 

“No,no,no,no. Not today, Nathan,” I protested as I got up and headed to the bathroom. Talking to him over my shoulder I yelled, “We are not going to be late today, so take five minutes to cool yourself down.” I headed straight into the shower and began washing my hair. Just as I stepped under the cascading hot water to wash off the shampoo, I heard the bathroom door open and the shower curtain pulled. Turning around, I saw Nathan stepping into the shower with me. 

“I took five minutes like you said then decided to save time by showering together,” he smirked again. Shaking my head, I gave up. He closed the distance between us and placed his hands under my legs, hiking it around his waist. He pushed us under the water and braced me against the wall. Running my hands through his hair, I pulled his head towards mine for a kiss. A kiss that lasted till the hot water turned cold. 

Quote 2

“Monsters make choices. Monsters shape the world.

Monsters force us to become stronger, smarter, better.

They sift the weak from the strong and provide a forge for the steeling of souls.

Even as we curse monsters, we admire them.

Seek to become them, in some ways.

There are far, far worse things to be than a monster.”

~ Jim Butcher

Quote

“There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live . . . the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope”

~ The Count of Monte Christo

Unwanted Face

I wrote this poem a couple months back although it’s incomplete I wanted to share it.

Faces
There’s a faceless face in the mirror staring at me.
I thought of it as pretty
Perfectly clear, not a part of it blemished.
No wrinkles. No scars. Not even a pimple.
A faultless master piece that god created.

I wear this face one day so they all could see,
I wanted to gloat in it’s beauty so that finally someone could see me.
The real me!

It first started with the whispers,
Then like a dark shadow it began clinging behind me everywhere I go.
Every word, every taunt, every mockery!
The dissdain looks and scorn causes me misery.

There’s a face this time in the mirror staring at me,
They say it’s pretty.
Perfeclty countoured, not a part of it hideous.
No wrinkles. No scars. Not even a pimple.
A faultless materpiece that humans created.

I wear this face one day so they all can see.
I wanted to cry with the praises I recieved with this fake beauty.
Such a pity!

~Farzanna Pasha 

Me vs. Life

Many times I would sit and wonder if life truly hates me. I have this theory that life has some sort of supernatural power to sink me so deep into the ground where there is no light for me to find my way out and no air to keep from dying of suffocation.
Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t hate life and I don’t have it in my mind to commit suicide. I love living! I love being able to wake in the morning to another new day of adventure and being able to do all you can do because life is what you make of it. You have to be willing to put 100% effort into making it however you imagine your life to be and damn all those pulling you down.
Though sometimes you have to grab onto life with both hands and wrestle with it; strangle it with all the strength you can muster and risk going down a sore loser because some endings can result with something so beautiful that you can be blinded by it. That the mere thought of it would make you shed tears of joy or gaze at it in wonder of such adoration.
Recently however, my life is playing a game of whack-a-mole, with me being the mole. Every time I find myself coming up from that atramentous ground for a breath, I would get whacked back into it with that damn mallet and each time it would take longer for me to find my way back up again. Therefore, expanding time of being suffocated.  
But every time I get whacked, it would make me stronger. It builds my resistance and harden me to the harshness of life and it would make me want to prove that I can surpass and overcome this. No matter how many scars I may obtain or how bent out of shape I may be, I will arise standing tall and a better person than I started out to be.
So life, bring it on! I’m here with my boxing gloves on waiting for you to take the first swing, waiting to show you that no matter how hard you whack at me I will come out that hole every time like a freshly water seed breaking through its coat to turn into a beautiful daylily.

Stranger I Feel You

Tonight I was sick. Not the cold or flu kind of sick, but the kind of sick where I needed my dose of you. So I did what any naive girl would do; eventhough I know it was probably not a good idea. Eventhough I know when I read the words you would bleed across the keyboard as you type to expose the deepest parts of you, would hurt me the most. I still needed my dose of you. So I sat by my computer and drank every cork filled of bittersweet medicine hoping that one of them would cure my sickness. A sickness I call you.

I don’t know you and you don’t know me but when you talked about her I could do nothing more but feel. I wanted to yell so loud that you can hear me across the ocean that separates us “stranger I feel you!”

But then I thought “what good would that do?” You had obviously placed her so high on a pedestal that you can’t help but walk around with your head looking into the sky and not notice those around you.

But stranger I want you to know that there’s nothing you can do that would stop me from feeling for you.

Taxpayer at last!!

So, I’ve finally join the world of taxpayers!! Or in more sense, I’ve finally got myself a JOB.
job

Throughout High School, I was one of the few individuals who did not work part time and went to school at the same time. My parents were one of the few people who believed that their kids when in school should focus primarily on getting an education than working. So here I am, 2 years out of High School and for the first time in my life, I am working.

Now, when my parents informed me that I had to get a job, I was all for it. I was so hyped. I was going online looking for any job that would suit me and I had this idea in my head that I could work 2 part time jobs, that way I would get the amount of income that we needed to float us financially. But when reality stepped in and I actually started working, I began singing another tune.

 Today marked day six of working and I can tell you I dread it. No, I do not hate the job itself but I hate that I have a schedule in which I have to wake up and have to go to bed. Unlike some people, I love my sleep and I love reading and usually I would sleep till 2-3 into the morning and wake whenever I wake but I can no longer do that and thats what I hate about working. I hate that it limit my hours in the day in which I usually put aside for reading.

Working all in all is fun and I like that my job makes me feel important and needed. 

Tell me what is your experience in working and what you hate about it?