Let’s Talk About Sacrifices Parents Make

Some nights where I lay restlessly in my bed, my mind runs a mile a minute and all these various events that either is happening or happened in my life would pass across my mind. And I would think about all the sacrifices my parents made just for myself and my siblings to be happy. I am eternally ever grateful for everything they did for our benefit.

I can shamefully say that at one point in my life I did not appreciate everything they did. At that time I just thought that it was normal, that it was the responsibility of my parents to make me happy. When I moved to the U.S. and my family went through a rough patch,  I awoke from this sleep and smelled the coffee.

I went to high school in the U.S. and experience the difference in how my parents cocoon and shelter me from the harshness of life than the parents of my fellow classmates. Some of them worked after classes and by the age of 18 was put out of their homes to fend for themselves. I am older than 18 and still live with my parents, who provides for me.

There is this saying that goes something like, “when you think you have life hard, know that there are other people experiencing worst than what you are going through” and I totally agree with it. 

I know some parents don’t like to share their struggles with their children but as much as mine tries, I can see it in their tired eyes and how hard they work. I can see it when we go out and they put their necessities behind ours, I can see it when others boast infort of us and they would say someday we would have the same and I can see it when we try to make ends meet with what little we have.

I also know of some children who are ungrateful of the sacrifices their parents made and when they grow older, they forget about the people who made it possible to be who they are. 

We as a family are still going through a rough patch and the sacrifices my parents are making for my future makes me feel helpless. I cannot wait for the day when I can repay them for all that they did and I hoped that, that day comes before life catches up with them.


Your Phone, Your Privacy? (Relationship)

For this Vent it blog, I’ll categorize it as an “Let’s talk about..”

Many people may say that I have no saying in this topic whatsoever, because I am according to this  generation’s slang “Single as a pringle”or in some cases “Single like a dollar bill” But I truly feel that everyone has the right to vent their own opinion. So here goes mine..

In this society where technology is taking over the minds of our future generation, phone privacy is taken a tormoil on all social network. It is brought up as a joke where in many relationships, the female companion would snoop into the phone of the opposite sex for evidence of cheating.

Do you consider this an invasion of privacy?

That is the number one question asked and many had replied; my phone, my privacy and I totally agree with this. But I believe that once you commit yourself to a monogamous relationship, then there should be some amount of trust. This trust however, is a two way street. 

Also there is the issue with putting a password on your phone. While I agree that everyone no matter what the circumstances might be, are entitled to their own privacy, there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. If you find yourself having to put a password on you phone beacuse of something you are trying to keep from your companion then you might as well call it quits on the relationship.

On the other hand, if you find yourself waiting for your companion to leave their phone so you can go through it, you might as well call it quits too. In my opinion, the moment you find yourself second guessing his/her commitment towards you, then you no longer trust him/her. And trust is in the top five  “must have” in order to develop a successful relationship.

But then again what do I know? I have no one to answer to and no phone to even make a call. Tell me what you think.

Poem (If You Forget Me)

I came across this poem sometime back and truly fell in love with it. Tell me what you think…

If You Forget

By MePablo Neruda

Submitted: Friday, January 03, 2003

I want you to know

one thing. 
You know how this is: 

if I look 

at the crystal moon, at the red branch 

of the slow autumn at my window, 

if I touch 

near the fire 

the impalpable ash 

or the wrinkled body of the log, 

everything carries me to you, 

as if everything that exists, 

aromas, light, metals, 

were little boats 

that sail 

toward those isles of yours that wait for me. 
Well, now, 

if little by little you stop loving me 

I shall stop loving you little by little. 
If suddenly 

you forget me 

do not look for me, 

for I shall already have forgotten you. 
If you think it long and mad, 

the wind of banners 

that passes through my life, 

and you decide 

to leave me at the shore 

of the heart where I have roots, 


that on that day, 

at that hour, 

I shall lift my arms 

and my roots will set off 

to seek another land. 

if each day, 

each hour, 

you feel that you are destined for me 

with implacable sweetness, 

if each day a flower 

climbs up to your lips to seek me, 

ah my love, ah my own, 

in me all that fire is repeated, 

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, 

my love feeds on your love, beloved, 

and as long as you live it will be in your arms 

without leaving mine. 

This ain’t long time

For those who don’t know what I mean by this, it is basically a saying that is used in reference to things that people are allowed to do now that they weren’t allowed to in the past.

I don’t know about most of you and your cultures but I spent 16 years of my life living in Guyana, my home country, so I grew up with that culture. For my fellow Guyanese they would know what I am talking about in parts of this blog.

Now, a lot of guys I know have the mentality where the woman in the relationship is not allowed to work. Women is seen as the baby carrier, house cleaner, the cook and even the shopper. I would love if all men would see us women differently. 

So what if your wife works more than you? You should be happy cause now she would know the value of money and how hard it was to work for it. If most women work higher paying jobs than their companion, she would have to prioritize on how to spend (budget) and men would stop compaining about shopping spree.

I know there are some petty women who would be like “I work for it so I can spend it” but if you men don’t like women like that then find someone else. 

Also I hate how guys are allowed to sleep with whoever, whenever and they are labeled as a “player”which to society is okay. Now if a woman is to do the same she is labeled a “slut”, “whore” and “easy” and is looked down upon from society. Unfair? Tell me about it.

The other day I watched a video I believe was with a high school girl complaining about dress code and the inequality of it. I agree that women/ girls have to dress a certain way that’s deem appropriate but the girl in the video made a point. I attended high school in the U.S. where they dress casually for school, the boys are allowed to wear armless shirts and not the girls. I still can’t see the logic in that. Like my skinny, flabby or muscular arms is going to distract people from learning? Please. If a guys with muscles bigger than my head walk in class in an armless shirt then yes, he is distracting the class. I want someone to pick out atleast 20 girls in their school with arms that distracts the class then I would agree that it’s okay for guys to wear armless shirts and not girls.

This ain’t long time if we can fight for transgenders to have their own bathroom, then we can fight for girls wearing appropriate armless shirts.

Also what’s up with men not wanting to help around the house? Like where on our forehead does it say only woman should wash the dishes or mop the floor? 

Let me just put this out there to conclude the blog, If women are fighting for equality in all things, then they should expect to be treated equally in their work environment as a man. Just saying. 

Yesterday’s Blog

I was just going through my blogs and making some editing here and there, when I remembered a quote from a book I read. In retrospect to yesterday’s blog I felt compelled to share it.

There is no greater blessing that a family hand that lift you from a fall;

But there is no lower curse than a family hand that strikes you when you’re down.

– Wes Fressle  

To view yesterday’s blog click Here  

S**T People Like To Talk (Family)

I don’t know how many of you have family drama. If you have a complicated family like mine you would know what I am talking about. Sometimes my family likes to joke about how we could be the next Kardashians and our drama would be 100% real. We wouldn’t even need a screenwriter or ever a director, my family is that messed up (and no one would like to admit it). 

Like most family when we are together we pretend that everything is okay and that “thing” that someone (some family member) talked about you the other day doesn’t really bothers you. But you know in your mind you’re telling them all the dirty, cruelest things you can imagine.

My family likes to pretend so much that they don’t even notice it when they are together. It’s like it becomes a norm and today they wouldn’t talk to each other but next week is totally different, I can’t keep up. I also really hate that when someone in my family (A) stop talking to someone else in my family (B) they would have a tendency to bad talk that person (A bad talks about B) , and if you join in the bad talk (you and A talk bad about B) , whenever they start talking back to each other (A and B are friends) you would hear everything you said about that person(B)  but not what they said about that person (what A said about B). Now you look like the idot.

In my family everything, and I really mean it when I say EVERYTHING is a competition. Form the grades you get, to the clothes you wear, to who keeps the best parties and even who got the best car or even the best house. And sometimes I would wish that they can all be content with what they can afford and stop SHOWING OFF. If your daughter is not an academic genius that’s fine stop forcing her to compete with someone who is book smart and in the process breaking her self esteem.   

I agree I cannot afford all the luxuries that they (family) enjoy at the moment but do you really need to post every little aspect of your life on facebook? 

Also is it just me or does everyone has the problem to say No when that’s all you really want to say. Okay, so sometimes if you(family) ask me to do something or you ask to go somewhere with you, I guarantee you 60% of the time I really want to say no. But being family and knowing the bad name I would get I am forced to smile and say “sure I would love to.” Also I really hate it when I am forced to do something I don’t want to do and I would make up so many excuses and I know they know I’m saying NO I DONT WANT TO but they would go tell my dad or say some s**t that forces me to do it.Being family does not give you the right to take away my free will and I wish someone would inform them of this.

I know when or if my family ever reads this a lot of them would be pissed and the amount of bad names and 4-way phone calls that would be going on. But honestly I reach a point in my life where I just want to be me and do me. Is that too much to ask?????


Let’s talk about Big Tushes

I was out earlier today and I was looking around at all the different sizes, colors and shapes of people and it got me thinking about how stereotypical our society has become. 

Now for those who don’t know what I meant by “Tush” then accordingg to the Urban Dictionary, tush is defined as the rear-end, butt or behind.   

For some reason in this generation of ours, having what is considered a big tush is like a right of passage. We have them being promoted in music lyrics and videos, which more than 80% of our young population watches daily. 

I was out shopping with my four year old niece, a couple days ago and we passed by the shoe section for kids her age and she tells me she wants that “Shimmer and Shine” shoe. I felt really stupid pointing at every shoe until I found the one she was talking about. You see my niece and I live in the same house, so I automatically thought I knew every cartoon she watches, but for a four year old she is really smart. She would take the iPad and put on YouTube, she knows which button to press to put on her show. This is how “Shimmer and Shine” came about. This is how her love for shimmer and shine came about. This is how the style shimmer and shine came about for her and she’s only four years old. 
It got me thinking that in a few years from now when she’s all grown, it will be her on the iPad or whatever other device created in the future, looking at videos where girls are depicted “perfect” once their body is up to a certain standard. Will she find herself lacking in certain aspectsts of her body? Will she want to spend her life savings on finding the right plastic surgeon? Or would she be like that one woman from My Strange Addiction, injecting oil into her body to look like what society considers beautiful?
I titled this post as let’s talk about big tushes because aside from breasts, butts are the most talk about body physique. We even have celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Nicky Minaj and Jennifer Lopez promoting having big butts as being a natural beautiful body. I’m not saying that those of us who are born with big tush is not beautiful, we are all blessed in our own way. I am just saying that there are some teens out there who look at these celebrities and wonder why, or wish they could look like them when they are perfect the way they are.  
The message that I am trying to convey is that having big butts is not all there is to life, having the perfect hour glass shape is not always going to make you happy and it’s not even about how much people would sit and admire you physically. It’s about the little things in life that makes us smile and cherish being born the way we were. It’s about the number of friends you have that are trully your friends not matter what you look like. I sometimes would wish that we as a society could take a step back and see how beautiful we are, how strong we are and that we don’t need to have big tushes to be happy. We are who we are because a society where everyone is one shape would be dull and boring

Is too much reading an Obsession?

I know a lot of parents who would do anything to have their child/children read a book or even a paragraph, but with my parents it was the total opposite. My dad especially would keep calling on me for no reason at all, just to get me away from reading.
I remembered I was 14 when I started to read so much that I had little, to if not any social life. To be honest, my life without books resulted with me getting into trouble and for things I don’t think I want to disclose just yet. But it was not the proudest moment of my life. Mind you I was always a straight A student.

For some reason at the tender age of 14, I had the sense to say “I am going to start reading books during my spare time to keep me out of trouble.” And honestly it did. I even had a few of my friends at the time, to made a pack with me, so that the group of us would stay out of the principal’s office together. I however, was the only on to upkeep the pack.

I began reading so much that up until the moment I left my home country I was a member of a library. When I started school in the United States I was amazed that each school had it’s own personal library and there was not a lunch that would pass where I woundn’t be searching for that one book to read.

When my family would invite me to social events, I would sit in a corner and read. Some may say that this is a rude thing to do but it was what I prefer to do. I feel that once you have a book in front of you there are so any places you can travel without actually having to leave.

I know there is a time and place to do certain things but when I am in the middle of a book that really grabs my attention I find it impossible to put it down. I would be sitting there bored and lost in the many ideas of what is going to happen next.  


Sneak Peek

I just finished the first five chapters of my first book and to celebrate this I thought it would be great to share the Prologue with you. Please tell me what you think of it and if I should change anything. The book will be titled Never Forget You and yes it will be a romance.





You never know the true value of any memory until it is taken away from you. Until it’s snatched from your brain and ceases to ever exist. Until it turns into this distant shadow, forever looming in the dark. Until it leaves you wondering if you were who you are now, if what you are eating right now is something you used to hate or the clothes that you wear, is it even your style?

Sometimes when I lie alone I get a glimpse of my past life, and if I focus, if I really focus hard enough, I can hear his laughter and feel his touch against my skin. I can smell him and taste him on my lips. I reach so far in my memory that it feels like a reality and when I search through all the fog to finally discover his face, it disappears and leaves me wondering, who is he? And, does he have the answers?

Everyone has memories and these memories tell us the story of our lives. They tell us of every cherished moment along with those which we dread to ever speak of. But me, I always wonder what my story was-is-and if he, whoever he is can tell me.

I laugh with my new friends just to show them that everything is fine, when really, everything is boiling within in me to push free. I feel it in the back of my mind, waiting, bidding time, ticking away to be set free. It leaves me pondering just who is going to get hurt.

My name is Jane Doe and I am looking for my story

Eid Mubarak?

Many of you may not know this about me but I am/was Muslim. Trust me I don’t know what to tell people who asks me what is my religious status. Well my mom was a Catholic Christian before she married my dad, she then converted into Muslim to be one with him. But she would still occasionally read a bible.

Growing up I had an ideal Muslim background. My dad was what you can call a religious man growing up so he wanted the same for his children. When I was maybe around 10 I attended a full time Muslim school where I had to dress in the full Muslim attire for 8-9 hours a day.

I can tell you it was an experience and a half for the first couple of weeks upon starting this school. AT the time I really hated my father for making me go, but now looking back I am glad he did. I learnt so much from this well hated religion where everyone throw harmful words against.

In my honest opinion it is not Muslim people who are terrorist but people itself. I can guarantee you that in the one year plus an extra summer class that I attended the school not once was I taught violence. I was taught things that bring peace and love. It taught me not to back bite, to love and honor my parents and to be at peace with not only myself but with everyone.

Eventually I left the school because it was more of a religion teaching school than an academically teaching school.

Now fast forward a decade and my mother has decided to become a Hindu. My father would swear he’s still a Muslim but he would take part in the Hindu things my mother do. And for those who knows Hindu and Muslim religion would know that this is not possible. 

Firstly Hindu’s so not consume beef whereas Muslim uses the bull as a sacrifice, they would then share the meat and also consume the meat.

Also some Hindu’s religious work consists the use of alcohol and cigarettes whereas the Muslims believe alcohol and cigarettes are haram (sinful).

So you can imagine the predicament my parents put me in. But my solution to the problem is to be both. When Hindus have a religious event taking place for that period of time I am also Hindu. When the Muslims have a religious event taking place for that period of time I am Muslim.

Many may think it unorthodox but I do it for my parents. 

Happy Eid Mubarak to all my Muslims Brothers and Sisters!!!